Deep down in the valley

I am getting depress and depress by the end of Paediatrics Posting.
I dont know what happen, but I just mess up with all the stupid mistakes.
Angry and disappointing with myself. Very.
I just feel like killing myself.
Maybe I should study more and MORE.
I am very scare  and doubt whether I could do my very best in final exam.
Fear creep in every night and tears ='(

Called Mommy and I heard disappointment in her voice when i told her i could not make it home this week and probably next week.
I just feel so bad for not being able to accompany them more.
I feel extremely bad.
I am just failed in every aspect. Every.

My mood is  deep down in the valley. Dark and sorrow.
Just trying to cheer myself with every possible ways.

=((

Just trying my best to think very positive.